'Undead and Unworthy' Undead: Queen Betsy #7 by MaryJanice Davidson

From the BLURB:

"No one does humorous romantic fantasy better than the incomparable MaryJanice Davidson" (The Best Reviews), and nobody reigns over the undead with more savvy than her heroine Betsy Taylor, back to rule the nights as Vampire Queen--and survive the days as a new suburban bride. But it's not all marital bliss. Betsy's husband, Sinclair, has been perusingThe Book of the Dead, Betsy's being hounded by a ghost who's even more insufferable in death than in life, and a pack of formerly feral vampires has decided to pay an unwelcome visit...

‘Undead and Unworthy’ is the seventh book in MaryJanice Davidson’s eclectically awesome ‘Undead; Queen Betsy’ paranormal series.

At the end of the sixth instalment, ‘Undead and Uneasy’, Davidson mentioned in an author’s note that the next few books in the ‘Queen Betsy’ series would be focusing on a new plot trajectory, like a mini-trilogy within the already established series.

‘Undead and Unworthy’ in many ways stays true to the good old Betsy. She has many of the same problems – a sultry and conniving husband, vampire minions she doesn’t know what to do with and a vampiric kingdom she’s not entirely sure she’s equipped to run. But Betsy is also battling a few new issues – like married life to a husband who is keeping secrets, a rocky ‘friendship’ with her bestie’s boyfriend (who, admittedly, wants to kill her). Not to mention an old problem is coming back to haunt the queen . . . the ‘Fiends’, dazed and wild vampire barbarians, are back and somewhat lucid while also homicidally intent on killing Betsy.

There’s certainly a lot happening in this book, and it does feel transitional. Davidson is putting a few old storylines to rest, while gearing up for a whole new trajectory for Betsy and co.

I was about to elaborate, when the front door was slammed open and an all-too-familiar voice greeted us with, “What the hell is going on? I leave this shitheap for three days, and the fuckin’ Fiends are loose, my boyfriend’s practically catatonic, and the smelliest bitch I've ever fuckin’ seen practically ran me down on the porch! Not to mention I nearly got into a fender bender with the devil who looks like Miss Fuckin’ February! Jesus fucking Christ, what the hell is going on?”

Antonia the werewolf was home.

Something I am looking forward to in future books is Betsy and Sinclair’s evolving relationship. In this book Betsy has a lot to deal with, and she does wonder if Sinclair will be comfortable and willing to put up with her many mini-disasters . . . though they are married, it’s obvious that Sinclair and Betsy have a lot to work on. Neither of them is prone to outpouring of emotions or long, romantic diatribes. But there is clear affection between the two and I am eager to read how Davidson explores their relationship while staying true to their prickly dispositions and outlandish characters.

‘Undead and Unworthy’ is perhaps the darkest ‘Queen Betsy’ book so far. There’s death and foreboding, and Betsy is questioning the danger her future holds while concerned for those closest to her. I was quite shocked by the finale of this book – it’s sad and bloody and definitely ends on a note of sombreness that the ‘Queen Betsy’ series is unused to. But I like this new trajectory that Davidson is taking fans on . . . Betsy is manning up and taking responsibility while managing to remain fabulous.

5/5

'Undead: Queen Betsy' SERIES by MaryJanice Davidson

‘Undead & Unwed’ From the BLURB:

Betsy Taylor turns 30, gets laid off, is killed by an SUV and wakes up dead all in the same week. The vampire community is convinced she's their prophesied Queen. But she's not having any of it—she's got shoes to buy! And now the undead world is being turned upside-down by a Bela Lugosi throwback and her subjects expect her to take care of it! Why didn't she read the handbook? But her would-be consort, Eric Sinclair, is (annoyingly) ever-present. If only he wasn't so tall, dark, gorgeous...and undead.

Betsy Taylor had it all, once. She cashed in on her blonde-haired long-legged good looks and was a model. But at the age of 30 she’s decidedly over the hill, and with no ring (or sugar daddy) to show for it. Her home life is fairly disastrous – with her parents divorced and her father married to a liposuctioned creature of horror, Antonia ‘the Ant’ who hates Betsy and steals her shoes.

So when Betsy finds herself on a morgue slab she isn’t all that surprised . . . really, it’s just another thing in a long line of personal disasters.

What Betsy isn’t prepared for is to wake up – undead! Undead and with awful pasty skin that clashes with every colour palette in her wardrobe! Even worse than that though, Betsy is hungry . . . starving. But a little neck-nip of a cute detective and cuter (but gay) doctor has them turning into lust-ridden puppies.

And the hits keep on coming when Betsy is approached by a drop-dead-gorgeous (literally) guy called Eric Sinclair and his minion-buddy, Tina. They claim that something called ‘The Book of the Dead’ foretells of a vampire queen rising to take control of the vamp population . . . and that Betsy is just that queen.

The ‘Undead: Queen Betsy’ series by MaryJanice Davidson began in 2004 and is now ten books deep (with at least two more to come). This is one of my all-time favourite paranormal series, and I feel the need to share the love.

Davidson’s series is hilariously similar to Molly Harper’s ‘Jane Jameson’ – told in first-person narrative by a newly-awakened vampire as she navigates the perks and upheavals of her newly undead life . . . but that’s where the similarities end.

Betsy is a divinely ludicrous and self-involved protagonist. She’s hot, and she knows it. She has a one-track-mind that is often narcissistic and she speaks like a Gilmore girl on crack. When she awakens as a vampire one of her first thoughts is how to adjust her makeup to her new ghostly pallor – that’s just the kind of heroine she is. Betsy’s narcissism is never so awful that you can’t laugh at her; her big head makes her oddly endearing and always funny. Even when Betsy is in the middle of a werewolf smack-down her outfit is never far from her mind;

Unlike what happens in a karate movie, these guys didn’t take turns. Nope, it was dog-pile time, with me on the bottom. (Did that make me the dog? Oh, never mind).

I jerked my face to the side, just as a fist slammed through the floorboards where my head had been.

“Wait. Wait!” I screamed.

Three fists (from two different people!) paused in midair, as I pulled my legs up, yanked off my saddle shoes (vintage, 1956, eBay, $296.26), and threw them into a corner.

“Okay,” I said. “Go.”

I blocked (barely) another fist, catching it on my crossed forearms à la Uma Thurman in Kill Bill (either one). I had zero martial arts training, but by God, I'd remember anything Uma did.

- ‘Undead and Uneasy’ book #6

The ‘Undead’ series is all about how Betsy not only copes with her new undead status, but the realization that she is undead royalty. Betsy hasn’t been dead for a week when the local vampire population start approaching her and asking for her royal advice and guidance. Someone so self-involved and designer-obsessed is certainly not prepared for the divine responsibilities of the crown. Reading Betsy’s reaction to her queenly status is bellyaching hilarious – especially when the vampire Eric ‘Sink Lair’ Sinclair informs her that she has duties to fulfil.

Yes, Betsy has a romantic love-interest and his name is Eric (note: Sinclair, not Northman). These two have a very unconventional romance . . . it goes from hatred of volcanic proportions to resentful attraction and then landing right on lustful love and begrudging acceptance. Eric Sinclair is a smoulderingly handsome bad-ass – he is the quintessential vampire, and Betsy is all too happy to call him out on his tall, dark mysterious vampire-clichés.

I opened my mouth to yell – or bite – which proved to be a tactical error, as he used it as an excuse to shove his tongue into my mouth. I made fists and hammered at his chest as hard as I could, and I actually heard something snap. He shrugged off the blows and deepened the kiss. My knees went weak, which was annoying beyond belief. I'd never been so attracted to someone I absolutely despised, and it was infuriating.

I could feel his hand on the small of my back, pressing me close to him, could feel his hard length against my stomach – how could he want anyone after what just went on upstairs? Didn’t he need a nap? Or a shower?

He pulled back, so abruptly, I staggered. “There,” he said, sounding indecently satisfied. “Now you’ll stay, and we’ll chat.”

The crack of my slap was very loud, and I was savagely thrilled to see him rock back on his heels.

“If you touch me again, I’ll kill you.”

- ‘Undead and Unwed’ book #1

The good news is that Eric and Betsy hook-up early on in the series (so lots and lots of sexy-time ensues). The real focus of their continued romance is how they cope with happily-ever-after when they have a resentful attraction.

One of the best things about the ‘Undead’ series is the cast of kooky-cool secondary characters who surround Betsy. There’s her rich best friend, Jessica. Gay doctor buddy, Marc. Suspicious but cute detective, Nick Berry. Sinclair’s right-hand-woman, Tina and a cache of sister spawn, evil stepmothers, ghostly roommates and psychic werewolves. Some of Davidson’s best laugh-out-loud moments come from Betsy’s repartee with these zany individuals.

MaryJanice Davidson’s ‘Undead: Queen Betsy’ series is a perfect comedic paranormal romance. This is the series to read if you don’t like how dark Charlaine Harris’s ‘Sookie Stackhouse’ books have become. Or if you wish that Molly Harper would release another twenty ‘Jane Jameson’ books. Read Betsy for a hilariously-sexy good time with a sweetly self-involved heroine as she reluctantly takes the crown.

5/5

'Wyndham Werewolves' short-story series by MaryJanice DAVIDSON

The Wyndham Werewolf Series is a collection of short-stories by famed comedic paranormal author, MaryJanice Davidson.

I have loved Davidson’s zany hilarity since I discovered her ‘Queen Betsy’ series. I knew she had a second paranormal romance/comedy series about werewolves. . . but after a little digging I discovered that the Wyndham Werewolves ‘series’ was comprised of short-stories that appeared in various anthologies and novellas. I made it my mission to trawl through my local library catalogue, Amazon’s Kindle books list and bargain bins until I was able to read all the short stories (in order) in one sitting. And through a series of happy coincidences, I finally have! And it was well worth the wait.

The series started with the short story ‘Love’s Prisoner’ which appeared in the 2000 romance ‘Secrets 6’ anthology. ‘Love’s Prisoner’ is a really integral story in the Wyndham Werewolves series, since it introduces Boston Alpha werewolf, Michael Wyndham and his unconventional human ‘monkey’ mate, Jeannie. This is probably the only necessary reading of the whole Wyndham Werewolves series – since most of the other short stories continually reference Michael and his human mateship.

‘Love’s Prisoner’ opens with human woman, Jeannie, getting trapped in an elevator with a stranger called Michael. Unbeknownst to Jeannie, Michael is a werewolf, and the moon is close and Jeannie’s menstruating tips Michael over the edge to claiming her as his mate.

“About the werewolf fixation,” she said, striving for a note of humour – she’d always had a perverse need to make light of any seriousness. “I confess this concerns me a bit. Perhaps there’s a support group that can heldp. Men-who-love-werewolves-and-the-women-trapped-in-elevators-with-them.” He laughed, a throaty chuckle.

- ‘Love’s Prisoner’, in Secrets 6 anthology.

From there the Wyndham series goes on to explore the repercussions of Michael’s blissful mateship as he presses his pack and fellow werewolves to find mates of their own and settle down. The other short stories all revolve around Michael’s various littermates and pack as they go on their own romantic rollercoaster rides.

MaryJanice Davidson’s signature wit permeates the series. Her storylines are often outlandish and seem to be triggered by a simple paranormal ‘what if?’ question. With the Wyndham Werewolves, Davidson is able to explore and write about every sort of werewolf contingency. . . there’s a story about a blind werewolf, a werewolf/vampire coupling and what happens when a werewolf literally stumbles across his destined mate:

He had visions of spending the rest of the day rolling around on Egyptian cotton sheets with Santa. “Lunch.”
She peered at him with adorable suspicion. “Is that a question? Is this your first day out of the institution?”
Right, right, she was human. Be polite. “Lunch. Please. Now.”

- Santa Claws, in ‘Dead and Loving it’ anthology.

I loved the series, if only for Davidson’s fantastic humour. She and Molly Harper have a similar (though totally different) darkly outlandish sense of humour and it shines through in each of the Wyndham short’s.

There was only one aspect of the series that rubbed me the wrong way. . . and that is Davidson’s almost blasé rape references. . .

Many of the male werewolves in the various Wyndham short stories ‘rape’ their soon-to-be partners. Michael rapes Jeannie in the elevator. The vampire/werewolf story involves said vampire kidnapping the lady wolf and forcing intercourse. But ‘rape’ is a very strong word, and actually a bit of a gray area in the various shorts. . . and that’s what I had a problem with. Technically, it is rape. And the women always openly accuse their rapist/mates of forcing them. . . but internally all of the women admit to being turned on and ending up wanting the sex as much as the men. So it’s a case of ‘cry wolf’ almost – where the physical act is technically rape (as the ladies admit and admonish) but reader’s also read the internal monologue of the women and know that they enjoyed/wanted it.

“Anything you put in my mouth, you’re gonna lose.”
He sighed. “I suppose it was too good to last. Pity we’re only compatible in bed.”
“Compatible in- you raped me, asswipe! Do you have any idea what my family is going to do to you? What I’m going to do to you?”
“I did rape you.” He tweaked one of her nipples. “At first.”

- Monster Love, in ‘Dead and Loving it’ anthology.

Hmmm. . . this didn’t sit well with me. Admittedly, at the time of reading I did raise my eyebrows, but I wasn’t so disgusted (and the scenes weren’t so graphic/violent) that I could not continue reading. . . it sounds a little worse when recounted for this review. But the ‘rape’ scenes did seem uncaring and unnecessary (even if they are accurate for portraying the werewolf mating ritual) even more so for Davidson pointing out that the women’s bodies often betrayed their ‘no’ talk.

I am glad I was finally able to read the Wyndham Werewolves series completely in order. Davidson is a unique and hilarious paranormal romance author, and while some aspects of the ‘romance’ irked me, overall I enjoyed this smutty/funny series.

4/5