'A Small Madness' by Dianne Touchell

Received from the Publisher 

From the BLURB:

Rose didn't tell anyone about it. She wondered if it showed. She looked at herself in the mirror and turned this way and then that way. She stood as close to the mirror as she could, leaning over the bathroom basin, looking into her own eyes until they disappeared behind the fog of her breath. Looking for something. Some evidence that she was different now. Something had shifted inside her, a gear being ratcheted over a clunky cog, gaining torque, starting her up. But it didn't show. How could all of these feelings not show? She was a woman now but it didn't show and she couldn't tell anyone.

‘A Small Madness’ is the new contemporary young adult novel from Australian author Dianne Touchell, whose debut novel ‘Creepy & Maud’ was CBCA-shortlisted.

I’m sort of going to tell you what this book’s about. It’s not really clear from the blurb or cover … but I don’t know how to praise it without telling you a little bit.

Rose and Michael started dating, “almost by accident,” but when we first meet them they’re having sex for the first time because they’re in love and ready. Afterwards Rose can’t believe that nobody can tell how changed she is, now suddenly a woman. Michael wants to know when they can do it again.

And then Rose starts watching the calendar; “she was watching the calendar the way you watch a spider in the corner of a room you can’t leave. Each day that passed was a spider leg twitching …”

This is a book about Michael and Rose’s journey down a winding road they can’t seem to find their way back from. It’s about how one small madness leads to a mistake, then an accident and then something more monstrous.

When I received this book from the publisher, the press release included a few paragraphs from Dianne Touchell on her inspiration for ‘A Small Madness’. She said that while living in the United States a few years ago she was “moved and disturbed” by news coverage of a particularly awful discovery, and it had stayed with her ever since. Touchell said that while “society gathered their metaphoric torches and pitchforks,” for this couple who had done a very bad thing, her heart just broke for them. It was that news story that led to Touchell exploring similar themes in ‘A Small Madness’, particularly this idea that; “being damaged is very, very different to being evil.” 

I adore Touchell’s writing. I fell in love with ‘Creepy & Maud’, and ‘A Small Madness’ has gone and broken my heart again. It’s not an easy book because I don’t think Touchell has it in her to write an ‘easy’ book – it’s sad and bleak in parts, the characters read a bit like careening cars you know are going to crash but you can’t take your eyes off of … the writing is lyrical;

He recognised the madness within himself that Sunday. Recognised its little tap dance on his heart and on his tongue. But he couldn’t let it loose again.

And these characters, for all their bad deeds and mistakes, are portrayed so tenderly and with a fragility that almost belies their actions. But that’s the whole point of the book – it’s to stay with Michael and Rose from the beginning of their madness, following what leads to their actions … Touchell unravels them masterfully. The book is told in third-person, so on one page we at once get Rose’s mindset on their situation;

Rose was learning about viruses in Biology. Virus: a submicroscopic particle of a nucleic acid surrounded by protein that can only replicate within a host cell. They only function inside the cells of another living thing. A virus is a parasite. Viruses are not considered to be independent living things. And they can be flushed out.

… and then we’re also given insight into Michael’s similar hard place;

‘We should tell someone.’ Even as Michael said it he wasn’t sure he believed it. Telling someone else, anyone else, would be an extension of the shame and he was stretched to capacity as it was. 

His parents had always been there for him. They loved him. He didn’t doubt that. But isn’t love based on belief? And isn’t belief just expectations all dressed up for opening night? This was his last year of school; the opening night of the rest of his life was only months away. His mum and dad had bought and paid for their expectations. What happens when someone loses that? What happens when someone stops believing in you?

This is a book full of black, white and grey. Touchell asks readers to be sympathetic to a dark deed and the fallible characters who commit it – she asks that we examine this idea that “being damaged is very, very different to being evil.” Here is a deliciously disturbing book; dark, lyrical and with a sharp complexity that will push readers out of their comfort zone. Must read.

5/5

Kill Your Darlings: Written for teenagers, censored by adults: an interview with Dianne Touchell

New Column up at Kill Your Darlings - 

'Written for teenagers, censored by adults: an interview with Dianne Touchell'

Because I was shocked when I heard that one of my favourite books to come out of 2012 met with some gatekeeping ridiculousness. 

Interview with Dianne Touchell, author of 'Creepy and Maud'

 •

I have a new author that I want everyone to know about ...

Her name is Dianne Touchell, she wrote the fantastically quirky/lovely debut YA novel 'Creepy & Maud' and the below interview will give you some idea of how utterly cool she is.

Now I want everyone to run out and get their hands on a copy of 'Creepy & Maud' because it's beyond impressive.

•

Q: How were you first published, agent or slush pile?

Slush Pile.  Popped that baby in a post bag and mailed it in.
 

Q: How long did it take you to write ‘Creepy & Maud’, from first idea to final manuscript?

12 months to write (don’t you just hate the day job?) and then 3 and a half weeks in editing with the incomparable Amanda Curtin.
 

Q: Are you a plotter or a ‘pantser’? – That is, do you meticulously plot your novel before writing, or do you ‘fly by the seat of your pants’ and let the story evolve naturally?

Oh pantser, pantser!!  Plot is so limiting.  If I had a plot in mind my characters would soon slap me into shape and take it where they want to anyway.  I have an idea  of “story” but the way that story ultimately unfolds is often different from my original imagining, and always related to character development.
 

Q: Where do story ideas generally start for you? Do you first think of the character, theme, ending? Or is it just a free-fall?

I’ve been keeping notebooks since I was a child.  I watch people and I eaves drop.  I’m a dull dinner guest because I’m often listening to the fight happening two tables over rather than attending to you.  People are funny and scary and elaborate and awful and wonderful.  A phrase overheard in a supermarket queue can set me off on a character idea.  So character comes first.  What would this person do in that situation?  How far would this person go to manipulate events to avoid that situation?  And then the character begins to manipulate me.  It’s a free-fall thing.  Basically, I just listen to the voices....
 

Q: How did decide to have one of your protagonists nick-named 'Creepy'? It's so unusual - but makes for a great title!

I needed a name that gave credence to the voyeuristic side of his nature at the same time as acknowledging the extent to which he is misunderstood and overlooked.  A name which recognized his eccentricity and isolation (as seen by peers and teachers alike) and yet made the reader warm to him.  If you live on the fringes you’re often seen as peculiar.  Creepy embraces the weird and borderline.  And that’s a good thing.  So to be creepy, I hope, becomes acceptable.  We’re all creepy in one way or another – we just get better at hiding it as grown ups.
 

Q: You've had a really eclectic life, it seems. Working as a nightclub singer and bookseller - how have your real-life experiences informed your writing?

Oh, you forgot fish and chip shop counter girl.  I’ve also been a cellist in an orchestra and cleaned other people’s houses.  EVERYTHING informs my writing.   Life informs my writing.  I’ve never been afraid of taking risks.  Sometimes good things happen and sometimes bad things happen, and it’s all material.  And if you take no risks, fuck all happens.
 

Q: I’ve been calling ‘Creepy & Maud’ a suburban love story (with heavy doses of quirk). Do you think this is a ‘love story’? Considering there are characters around Creepy & Maud (namely, their parents) who are decidedly unromantic and set a bad love-life example.

Oh yes, I set out to write a love story.  And I believe that’s what it is.  We all fall in love surrounded by bad examples.  Whether that bad example is two parents constantly goading each other or two parents happily in love after 50 years.  It’s about expectation.  Example is a detrimental thing whatever way you slice it because all example is a set up.  It takes away an element of personal judgment.  “I recognize this so this is what I expect”.  We come into all relationships loaded with stuff formed, like fat zygotes, by expectation.  If I did not come into this relationship with the expectation of my partner hating me in ten years time, how would I behave differently?  If I did not come into this relationship with the expectation of my partner worshiping me until the day they die, how would I behave differently? Example is a shackle we are all bound by.   I hope Creepy and Maud are dysfunctional enough to find their own way. 

Q: I loved the quotes that Creepy trades with Maud – everything from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ to Oscar Wilde. Did you have to go hunting for these quotes, and find ones to suit the scene – or are these just a few of your very favourite’s that you wanted to include in some way?

As I’ve read throughout the years I’ve jotted down things that moved me, or made me laugh.  I’m always writing down things I overhear or quotes from other writers.  I’m a great scribbler in books too and I *whispers* turn down the corners of pages.  Sometimes I read something and remember that someone else wrote or said something related to it.  That’s sort of what happened here.  As the story progressed I also wanted to give some indication of the universality of these individual problems and emotions being experienced by Creepy and Maud.  Not to diminish their experience but to validate it – to show that others have felt these ways and survived, even with some good humour in tact.  And yes, some of the quotes are some of my favourites.
 

Q: You’re a very perceptive writer, and a few little things really captured the current teen experience for me. For instance, you mention that the popular girl group at school is currently all wrapped up in Pandora charm bracelets … YES! I wonder, are you a big people-watcher, and if so where do you get your best eavesdropped material from?

I am a big people watcher.  (Some guy in a bar thinks I’m coming onto him by staring and I’m actually lost in my own world working out the best way to describe the odd little speech impediment he’s got).  I’d much rather watch and listen to people than interact with them, most of the time, because people are most honest when unaware of being observed.  There is no “best” place to eavesdrop – the gas station, the street, the pub, the workplace – I’m just sort of tuned in all the time.  Although I do like a queue (if it’s not for food – don’t do so well when I’m hungry) – people are very raw in queues because we are naturally impatient and queues make people feel exposed.  I’ll get people chatting in queues just to listen to people with absolutely nothing in common interact.  And a lot of couples fight in queues. 
  

Q: Maud has a very interesting disorder called Trichotillomania – which means she derives pleasure from, and is compelled to pull her hair out. What made you think of this disorder for one of your characters, and how did you research?

I wanted an obsessive compulsive disorder that was hard to hide.  That was so visual it confronted everyone it came into contact with.  I also wanted something that makes people question what true beauty is.  Women’s hair is very important to them (except when you’re middle aged and it starts springing up on your bloody chin).  And it’s doubly important to Maud because it is where she both derives her pleasure and relieves her anxiety.  Yet I doubt anyone who has read the book would question her beauty.  I had read about Trichotillomania years ago, and jotted down some notes about it, but my best research is actually documented in the novel.  I tried it.  Just a little bit, like Creepy does.  I discovered that it takes commitment to pull out your own hair! Of course I am without the benefit of compulsion to steer me through the pain of it.  But if I could feel nothing I believe I might enjoy feeling the “something” other than the nothing.  Pain tells you you’re alive, even if you believe you are an island.
 

Q: There’s something very sophisticated about ‘Creepy & Maud’. You have written two very articulate and perceptive young people – and both seem to have more rational minds than most of the people around them. Did you always intend for them to be young-adult characters? Did you know from the beginning that you were writing a young adult novel?

I knew from the very beginning that this was going to be a young adult novel.  I also believe that young adults, teenagers, in that very raw, angst filled stage of high emotion and discovering identity, are extremely perceptive and that we, grown-ups, forget about that as we get older.  We were them.  There is a complexity and creativity to young adult interaction with the world that we too often mistakenly label as self-centeredness and bloody-mindedness.  In spite of the extremes of young adult behavior, perhaps because of these extremes, I believe we should be very careful about invalidating their observations and judgments about the world around them.  Young adults are perceptive and they can be very articulate.  It’s not their fault that if grown-ups find them visually or emotionally disturbing we discount everything that comes out their mouths and hearts. Of course I’m not going to attempt a deep and meaningful with the little criminal-in-waiting harassing old ladies in the supermarket car park.  I’m just going to slap him upside the head.  Then talk to him.
 

Q: Favourite book(s) of all time

Oh, so unfair.  Too many to mention but I’ll have a crack if you don’t carve it in stone.

Gone With the Wind – Margaret Mitchell
Nobody Owns the Moon – Tohby Riddle
The Beauty Myth – Naomi Woolf
We Need To Talk About Kevin – Lionel Shriver
The Hour I First Believed – Wally Lamb
Happy as Larry – Scot Gardner 

Q: Favourite author(s)?

See disclaimer above...

A.S. Byatt
John Wyndham
Jane Austen
Antonia Fraser
John Fowles
Wilkie Collins
 

Q: What advice do you have for budding young writers?

Just write.  Write all the time.  Whenever you have a chance.  Carry a notebook.  Become a jotter and a scribbler.  And read.  Then read some more.
 

Q: What are you working on now? And when can we expect your next novel to hit the shelves?

Does doing something monstrous make you a monster?  How long and how hard do you have to pay for diabolical errors in judgment in young adulthood?  Watch this space...

'Creepy and Maud' by Dianne Touchell

 Received from the Publisher

From the BLURB:

Hilarious and heartbreaking, Creepy & Maud charts the relationship between two social misfits, played out in the space between their windows.

Creepy is a boy who watches from the shadows keenly observing and caustically commentating on human folly.

Maud is less certain. A confused girl with a condition that embarrasses her parents and assures her isolation.

Together Creepy and Maud discover something outside their own vulnerability — each other’s. But life is arbitrary; and loving someone doesn’t mean you can save them.

Creepy & Maud is a blackly funny and moving first novel that says; ‘You’re ok to be as screwed up as you think you are and you’re not alone in that.’

Creepy and Maud are neighbours and on the outskirts, of everything.

So, they watch everything.

They watch their parents like they’re observing a particularly gruesome animal documentary. Creepy watches them yell blue murder at one another; he monitors the half-empty glasses of wine his mum stores around the house, and he quietly observes his dad training their dog, Dobie Squires, to attack his wife with a yelled “Gitah!” (get her). Maud watches her quiet mother, her mother who never cries. She sees her father lurking around the house, seeking out her mother’s cat to kick.

Creepy watches the people at school. He notices how the clique of beautiful girls are currently obsessed with Pandora bracelets, wrapping all their hopes and dreams up in tiny charms. Maud sees the shaking, sweating hands of their French teacher.

Creepy and Maud are on the outskirts, quietly watching.

And then, one day, Creepy starts watching Maud. From across the way he sees that his bedroom window looks into hers (if her curtains are open and Creepy stands a certain way and uses a pair of relic binoculars). Creepy watches Maud pulling on her hair – the hair atop her head, on her eyelashes, even the hair . . . down there. He watches Maud draw. He watches Maud’s father yell at her. He watches Maud being . . . Maud. And Creepy falls in love.

So he holds a note up to his window for her to see . . .

. . . And then Maud starts watching Creepy right back.

‘Creepy and Maud’ is the debut young adult novel from Australian author, Dianne Touchell.

Creepy and Maud take turns narrating their unfolding romance, beginning with Creepy observing the decidedly unromantic life of his parents who have not set a very good example for their young son. In fact, Creepy begins so sceptical about love that he does not like to be touched, by anybody. But then he starts observing Maud across the way, he takes note that she has Trichotillomania – enjoys pulling her hair out – and he is intrigued at her manifestation of pain. He’s also intrigued by her drawing, her cat’s eye glasses and eventually everything about her.

Creepy is Creepy partly because he’s invisible – always with his head in a book, his superior mind doesn’t leave him much room to tolerate most kids his age. He reads the classics, from Kerouac to Thomas Hardy, ‘The Man in the Iron Mask’ and ‘Peter Pan’. He quotes Lewis Carroll to Maud via a written message held up to his window, inadvertently appealing to her love of five’s (five letters, five-word sentences, five syllables. . .) But he’s also Creepy because he falls in love with Maud, fast and from a distance;

All right, so I have spent a bit of time looking in there. It’s funny how when you watch someone for a while, as you learn them, you begin to feel as if they’re complicit in the observation. As if you have their permission. As if they actually feel you watching, and like it. That’s when I got careless, though. That’s when I got comfortable.
Am I sounding creepy? Love is sort of creepy.
When you fall in love, you presuppose all sorts of things about the person. You superimpose all kinds of ideals and fantasies on them. You create all manner of unrealistic, untenable, unsatisfiable criteria for that person, automatically guaranteeing their failure and your heartbreak. And what do we call it? Romance. Now, that’s creepy.

This is such a lyrical, beautiful novel about a kooky suburban love story between teenage neighbours. It’s really a very simple story, insomuch as a love story can be simple, but it’s the characters of Creepy and Maud that make this book seem rather grandiose. And it's Touchell's fresh and delicious prose that makes this novel truly unforgettable.

Creepy is a very articulate, observant young man with a dark, dark, dark sense of humour. He starts out seeing the world in such a wonderfully austere way, but he starts to slowly and subtly change when he begins watching Maud. Suddenly, all those romantic books he reads come in handy. One day he sees Maud not looking her usual gloomy self, and he describes the image thus; “With a smile like a shiver on a landscape.” Urgh! He’s gorgeous; even more so for being a little bit mysterious to both Maud and the reader.

Creepy falling for Maud is a little bit of a miracle, considering the romantic role models his parent’s aren’t. So when he does fall, it’s a little bit spectacular;

And I wonder what would happen if we touched each other. Would we repulse each other like charged magnets held south to south, or would we short each other out and curl together like the knuckles of bone in the spine of a sleeping cat?

Maud is equally fascinating. She doesn’t think she’s as articulate as Creepy, or as smart (what with all those books he reads). Maud understands the world through drawing, her grandma and the sweet sensation of ‘pulling’. She yearns for a real friend, but doesn’t know how to get one. And she thinks Creepy’s parents love each other, since they still have enough passion to yell at one another. Each of her chapters ends with a Coda – the sum of her thoughts that reveal Maud is a lot smarter than anybody gives her credit for;

Coda: I wait for the light to fascinate me.

‘Creepy and Maud’ is a disarmingly wonderful novel. It’s funny, dark and weird; a neighbourly love story across the ways that contrasts the horrors of suburban family values with the seismic tremors of first love. Creepy is severely witty, and Maud a fascinatingly complex young woman. Dianne Touchell is most certainly a sharp new voice to look out for on the Australian YA scene.

5/5