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Showing posts with label Laurell K Hamilton. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laurell K Hamilton. Show all posts

Sunday, December 15, 2019

‘Affliction’ Book 22 'Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter' series by Laurell K Hamilton


From the BLURB:

Micah’s estranged father lies dying, rotting away inside from some strange ailment that has his doctors whispering about “zombie disease.”

Anita Blake makes her living off of zombies—but these aren’t the kind she knows so well. These creatures hunt in daylight, and are as fast and strong as vampires. If they bite you, you become just like them. And round and round it goes…Where will it stop? Even Anita Blake doesn’t know.

‘Affliction’ is Book 22 in the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series.

I’ve given up on a lot of series. The Black Dagger Brotherhood series? Gave up. Got sick of all the otherworldly vampire women of unparalleled physical beauty. Gini Koch’s Kitty Katt series was still enjoyable, but just got a little too outlandish for me. Kitty Norville by Carrie Vaughn – kaput for me. Got the feeling that there was no end in sight and no over-arching story to thrill and hook me. One series that I gave up on a long time ago, was Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake Vampire Hunter series – that I loved in the beginning, but like many original fans I flamed out when it basically became a cheap erotica series with questionable consent. I bowed out in a big way, with a scorched-earth kinda-joke but also kinda-serious review of Hit List.

Well. That was 2011. Approaching the end of the decade I had a charitable moment of thinking *maybe* I should check back into the series (which has since gone on to Book 26, when I tapped out at Book 20). I thought maybe the series had realigned, course-corrected and I was just curious to see what these characters I once loved were up to.

Readers – I should have left well enough alone. I should have finished at the drinking-game, and closed the door on this series I’d given up on. Instead … I didn’t even get 100 pages into Affliction before I had to remove myself from the absurdity and injury of reading characters I once loved in such a degraded, disinterested and disastrous instalment.

I’m … I’m just going to show you the scene that made me tap out, put a nail in and then pour concrete on the coffin of this once-great series.

The only background you need is alluded to in the blurb – Micah is one of Anita’s permanent boyfriends, and one of two she actually lives with. She’s just been told that Micah’s estranged father is dying, and his mother has encouraged Anita to get Micah on a plane to come and see him one last time.

Anita goes into action-mode and starts coordinating flights, resources, etc…. she calls her other live-in honey, Nathaniel, to ask him to pack their bags, and this is their exchange;

‘I need some shirts that aren’t low-cut, okay?’ 
‘We love your breasts,’ he said, his voice holding that upward lilt that said he was smiling. 
I smiled. ‘I appreciate that, I even approve, but let’s not overwhelm his family with my assets the first time.’ 
‘Would I pack so that all that creamy goodness was on display in every shirt?’ he asked in that false innocent voice. 
‘Yes,’ I said, and laughed. 
‘I promise to pack some regular T-shirts, but most of your dressy tops are low-cut.’
'That’s because the plain silk shell blouses don’t lie right when I wear them,’ I said. 
‘They aren’t designed for someone with a triple-E cup, Anita. I didn’t even know that you could have that big a cup size and be as lean as you are without surgical help.’ 
‘Genetics is a wonderful thing,’ I said. 
‘Yay, genetics!’ he said with so much enthusiasm it made me laugh. 
‘I’ll pack so we’ll match but won’t embarrass Micah. Promise’.



I … I have no words for those words.

They are abysmal. And all the more insulting for what Anita Blake once *was* - an exciting and complex female superhero, frankly, in a paranormal-noir landscape of monsters masquerading as men. This series started out so interesting for being full of grey-areas and thrilling whodunnit’s … now it’s cheap, and nasty. Anita Blake isn’t a Mary Sue, she’s worse – coming across like a walking, talking example of a woman made for the male-gaze (in a series with a largely female fanbase?) and coming across like a cloying attempt to Make Men Like Me.

That’s what the above scene boils down to, for me – “look at my big boobs and little frame! Tee-hee!” She’s like a demented Betty Boop and it’s all the more saddening and maddening for the fact that Hamilton has increasingly alluded and aligned Anita’s life to her own.

I should have left well enough alone, it’s true. I’ve no one to blame but myself for dipping my toes back into this cesspool. I still own Books 1 – 10, which is about as much of the series as I’m willing to still claim pride in as a fan. But everything beyond that is a sad trash-fire that’s continuing to burn, inexplicably.

0-stars.
You get nothing. You lose. Good day, sir.

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Anita Blake 'Hit List' Drinking Game


I can't do it. I can't do another straight-up review of an Anita Blake novel . . . it's too depressing. I need alcohol to get through this, the 20th installment of a once-great series.

Let the alcohol poisoning begin!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink When . . . you read this common phrase / description;
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Someone's hair is `spilled around their shoulders' - 1 drink

* Someone's hair isn't just black, it's blue-black - 1 drink

* Somebody asks the conveniently open-ended question: `what do
you mean?' thereby prompting Anita to spout a long diatribe, explaining everything that's happening and happened in the plot up to this point, including everyone's private motivations - 1 drink

* Anita says: naked puppy piles OR naked kitty piles - 2 drinks

* Anita says that someone has `kitty-cat eyes' - 1 drink

* Anita describes Jean-Claude as being femininely beautiful, yet still utterly masculine and male - 1 drink

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink When . . . during one of the (many) sex scenes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Someone says; "so tight" or "so wet" or "so warm" while they have sex with Anita - 1 drink per term or CHUG! if someone says all three at the same time.

* Someone is so big that Anita straddles the line between pleasure and pain - 1 drink

* Anita says, "I screamed my orgasm into his mouth" - CHUG!

* Anita calls all genitalia `bits', because deep-down she's still a country-girl prude, aw shucks! - 1 drink

* Anita orders someone to "just shove it in!" - 1 drink

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink when Anita . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Anita calls the cachet of men in her life her `sweeties' - 1 drink

* Someone comments on Anita's stunning good looks, and Anita deflects by claiming such praise is `girly mind games' or she is paltry compared to the handsome men in her life - 1 drink

* Anita meets an attractive and powerful woman, who is dead by the end of the book- 1 drink

* A white middle-aged cop infers that Anita is a wimp/slut, and Anita takes the negativity in stride, claiming it's a `guy thing' - 1 drink

* Anita is reluctant to have sex with a stranger because, deep down, she is still a country-girl prude . . . but she soldiers on and has sex anyway (*ahem*, to feed the ardeur) - 1 drink

* Anita blushes (usually in the prelude to sex) and a man is utterly charmed by her naiveté and ability to still be embarrassed, aw shucks! - 1 drink

* A guy compliments Anita on her large breasts (to which she all but replies, "what? These old things? Aw, shucks!") - 1 drink

* Anita tries (unsuccessfully) to justify sleeping with a sixteen-year-old boy (nope . . . still fantastically creepy and inappropriate) - 2 shots

* Anita is accused of becoming `one of the monsters' she was sworn to kill - CHUG!

* Somebody (often female) challenges Anita's status as tiger queen or Nimir Ra, and claims that Anita cannot take an animal to call . . . resulting in an orgy - CHUG!

* Anita adds a new `sweetie' to her harem (reluctantly, of course) - CHUG!

* Anita has sex with a gorgeous stranger because the ardeur needs to feed and said guy is somehow down-trodden/outcast/misunderstood etc, but he appreciates Anita's blatant arousal of him (she likes me, she really likes me!) - CHUG!

* Anita gets a new scar that she doesn't care about because she has so many already and they're proof that she survived something nasty, plus she's not a girly-girl to care about how pretty she is - 1 drink, or CHUG! if Anita recounts the story of how she got the holy-cross scar on her arm to some poor, unsuspecting paramedic who just asked her if she wanted an Aspirin?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink when Edward . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Anita calls Edward `good ol' boy Ted', and mentions that he wears a cowboy hat - 1 drink

* Edward wonders who would win in a fight-to-the-death between him and Anita, but doesn't live out his fantasy because they're friends - 1 drink

* Discussions about how Peter wants to be a stone-cold-killer, just like his step-daddy - 1 drink

* Edward mentions that he has modified his weapons - 1 drink

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink when Bernado . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Bernado or Anita mention that Bernado has a big dick - 1 drink, 2 drinks if either of them use the phrase `hung like a horse' (because his name is Bernado Spotted Horse. Get it?)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink when Olaf . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Olaf does something utterly creepy, forcing Anita and Edward to threaten to kill him if he steps out of line . . . without ever actually pulling the trigger - 1 drink

* Anita muses to herself that one day Olaf will go too far and either she or Edward will have to kill him - 1 drink

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drink when, as a reader you . . .
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Don't have a clue who half of Anita's sexual `sweeties' are. Domino? Nicky? Bobby who? When did Anita have sex with a married guy? Huh? - 1 drink per man you can't remember reading about in previous books, but who is now a part of Anita's harem

* You grind your teeth and keep muttering `where are Jean-Claude/Nathaniel/ Asher/Jason/Micah/Richard?' - 1 drink

* You don't understand why Anita claims to miss all her sweeites so much, but doesn't even take five minutes to make a phone call home and say `hey!' - 1 drink

* You had such high-hopes for the Marmee Noir storyline, thinking that she could be the big-bad evil to turn the series around . . . only to have all your expectations dashed in one hurried and anti-climactic finale that basically ends in `happily-ever-after' - CHUG!

* You sigh and wonder whatever happened to vintage Anita Blake. The non-slutty ass-kikcker of yesteryear - 1 drink


Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Wish Upon a Series ...


Hello Darling Readers,


So, there are quite a few books and series that I am rabidly anticipating; counting down the months to release, and scouring chat boards for discussions and guessing-games. As a few book releases loom close, I find myself needing to get a few things off my chest, and to voice a few fingers-crossed hopes I have for much-anticipated installments . . .


SOOKIE STACKHOUSE by Charlaine Harris:


May 3rd will see the release of the eleventh Sookie book, ‘Dead Reckoning’. Rumour has it Charlaine Harris is contracted for at least 3 more books after this one (bringing the series to a close with a grand total of 14 books). However, this is pure and utter rumour because Charlaine’s official FAQ page stresses that she doesn’t know how many more Sookie books there will be. And, really, with ‘True Blood’ going great guns and Harris rocketing up the bestseller lists, why on earth wouldn’t her publishers try to get as many books out of her as possible!?

Look, I am a big Sookie Stackhouse fan (HUGE! GINORMOUS! Heck, I have *that* shower scene from Chapter six of ‘Dead to the World’ practically memorized). I am a confirmed fan, and I will read any and all Sookie Stackhouse novels Charlaine Harris writes . . . but at the moment, the open-endedness of the series is a bit of a hindrance. I would actually like it if Harris had a finish-line in mind because, lately, it feels like the series has been floundering (just a teensy-weensy little bit).

Fans waited 10 books for Sookie to hook-up with the frighteningly seductive Eric Northman. But the second they became a couple, Harris was quick to douse fan’s flames by admitting Eric wasn’t Sookie’s Happily-Ever-After. Harris has said Sookie and Eric’s blood bond will be broken (even admitting what a pain this has been for her to write) and she has said that thus far, Sookie hasn’t met the man who will be her HEA.

So, basically, for as long as Eric and Sookie remain a couple fans will know that it’s just temporary and the real fun won’t kick into high-gear until Sookie meets this mysterious HEA of hers. Great. Okay. It just feels like fans are left cooling their heels while Harris gets the Sookie/Eric obsession out of our system.

I will try to go into ‘Dead Reckoning’ with an open-mind. I love Eric, and I love Eric with Sookie . . . but my wish is that that they break up in this eleventh book - If only to signal the new chapter in Sookie’s life that means she will meet her true soul-mate.

Right now I hope the series refocuses and starts building up a clear end-game. I don’t want Sookie to jump the fictional shark.


KATE DANIELS by Ilona Andrews:


Kate + Curran mushiness.
That is all.
. . . Oh, sure, I wouldn’t mind if we delved deeper into the Roland mystery and how it will affect Kate’s future with Curran . . . but mostly I wish for smutty mushiness (I am saying ‘please’ before in the hopes that I will say ‘thank you’ after).


GEORGINA KINCAID by Richelle Mead:


‘Succubus Revealed’ is the sixth and last ‘Georgina Kincaid’ book, coming out in September this year. I honestly, really, truly don’t want this series to end. Even when I was bawling my eyes out and cursing Seth’s name, I would still count this series as one of the most visceral, and enjoyable reading experiences. I have become so invested in Georgina’s turbulent love life that, while I want to see her happy, I don’t want the rollercoaster ride to end!

I want to know what happens. I need to read Georgina get her happy ending (please, please, please Richelle Mead! Hasn’t she been through enough!?!)

I guess, if I had one unattainable wish for this series, it would be to read Georgina punch Maddie in the face. Just once. A really good sucker-punch. Ka-Pow!


BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD by J.R. Ward:


I want Tohr’s book.
That is all.

. . . Seriously. I didn’t love ‘Lover Unleashed’ at all. But I feel like the Warden can make it up to me with Tohr’s book. In fact, I know she will!

Tohr is like John Matthew in that his story has been slow-boiled and set-up over the course of nine books (well, eight books, since he wasn’t mentioned AT ALL in ‘Unleashed’). I feel like Tohr has gone through the first half of his character-arc, and now fans are waiting for the grand finale. I want this soooooooo bad. I want it even more since learning that Layla wouldn’t be his HEA.

I also need Qhuinn and Blay’s book . . . in whatever form the Warden chooses to write it in. Short story. Full-length instalment. On the back of a napkin. Seriously, I will read their M/M HEA any damn way it comes – so long as it comes, hard (*snicker*).

I also have a couple of little wishes for this series, like stories for Trez & iAm. Oh, and for Layla to break out with a bad case of adult acne and to gain a freshman fifteen . . . and if someone wants to punch her in the throat, that would also be awesome.


ANITA BLAKE by Laurell K Hamilton:



It’s no secret that I don’t have a lot of love for Ms. Hamilton and her butchered Anita Blake series. But I will give props where props are due – the Marmee Noir storyline is pretty awesome.

Marmee Noir is reminiscent of the big-bad arcs Joss Whedon used to write for ‘Buffy’. The Mother of all Darkness is this spectacularly invasive presence who has been sadly neglected in recent books (seriously, what was the point of ‘Bullet’?).

Marmee Noir first ‘appeared’ in book #14 ‘Danse Macabre’, and she has been a dark presence in Anita’s life ever since. She is the first vampire – mother to them all – and after a thousand years of slumber, she is awoken by her curiosity about Anita. This is a *great* premise . . . except, it has been a premise for five books now, with little development (what with all the much-needed sexual orgies).

Hamilton had beautifully set-up Marmee Noir as the villain to end all villains – and I totally get that when Anita faces-off against her, it will probably signal the end of the series (I mean, where can you go after defeating Mommie Dearest? She’s like ‘The First’ in Buffy season seven!).

My wish for this series is that Anita retires her hoochie and gets back to the business of paranormal ass-kicker. Marmee Noir could be just the villain to shake Anita out of her sexual haze and pump some life back into this once-great series. But Hamilton needs to get her ass in gear and develop this big-bad, pronto! I hope ‘Hit List’ refocuses this series, and takes Anita back to her heroic roots (preferably with less rooting involved).

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Trendspotting - Graphic Novels & Urban Fantasy

Urban Fantasy Graphic Novels

In case you haven’t noticed, the Urban Fantasy genre is being inundated with comic book adaptations. For those in the know, these ‘comic books’ are respectfully known as ‘graphic novels’ and there are a ton of them coming out in 2010/11.


So, why all the adaptations? Well, for starts there has been a successful precedent set by Stephenie Meyer (surprise, surprise).

In March this year Stephenie Meyer released a graphic adaptation of the first book in the ‘Twilight’ saga, and it sold like hotcakes. It was pretty much a guarantee that any new book released by Meyer would have a receptive audience – but the Twilight graphic novel broke so many unprecedented comic-book records. The graphic novel's first printing was reported to be of 350,000 copies, which, according to USA Today, was believed to be the largest first printing for a graphic novel in the U.S. market. Yen Press announced that the graphic novel sold 66,000 copies in its first week, which it claimed was a record for U.S. sales of a graphic novel in its first week. And as of June 10, 2010, the Twilight graphic novel was at #1 on the New York Times best-seller list for hardcover graphic books.


Meyer’s success aside, graphic novels are an author-friendly adaptation. Movie and TV adaptations will often be written by screenwriters, and in fact once the author sells the rights to their work they have little control over the filming process. Graphic novels, by contrast, require a much higher amount of author-participation. Writers like Kim Harrison have blogged extensively on their adaptation work, and in Harrison’s case she has written every panel of her comic book. Diana Gabaldon likewise blogged quite a bit on her close work with Hoang Nguyen when it came to the picture representations of her beloved characters and tweaking her story.

Then there’s the fact that the Urban Fantasy genre is quite comic-book friendly. Most comics are fantasy/scifi based – so UF books are not such a stretch for the medium. Especially when Urban Fantasy books already have such strong visuals associated with them. Daniel Dos Santos’ gorgeous ‘Mercy Thompson’ covers are instantly recognizable and a benchmark of the UF genre.

Canon

When authors release a graphic novel adaptation of their established book series, they are often very explicit on whether or not the adaptation is ‘canon’. Canon refers to whether or not material referring to a fictional universe is ‘official’.

For instance, fanfiction is not canon – what EdwardsBabe1 writes about the novel ‘Eclipse’ is not officially accepted material of the ‘Twilight’ saga.
Though the term canon, with regard to literature, is defined only as the body of work written by a particular author, or on a particular subject, it has since been altered by popular culture to define various levels of how "official" a work is. Most graphic novel adaptations are considered to be canon, but not impacting of the book series.

For example, Patricia Briggs 2009 graphic novel ‘Homecoming’ was a prequel to the events of the first book in the Mercy Thompson series, ‘Mooncalled’. ‘Homecoming’ was the story of Mercy’s first days in the Tri-Cities area, her first meeting of Adam, Stefan and Siebold Adelbertsmiter. Patricia Briggs wrote the story of ‘Homecoming’, and it is officially the prequel to the Mercy series - it is ‘canon’. But it is not imperative that fans of the ‘Mercy Thompson’ books read ‘Homecoming’ to understand the series.


One book blogger's opinion...

I am personally loving all of these graphic adaptations. I’m Australian, so the whole comic-book phenomenon is sort of over my head... but I loved the Mercy Thompson graphic novel, ‘Homecoming’, and was an instant convert to the medium. In many cases I feel more comfortable with my favourite books being graphically adapted rather than cinematically adapted. So much can be lost in Film/TV – but I feel that author’s have more control over graphic novel adaptations, and the fact that most authors are the ones writing the graphic novel means that none of the book flavour is lost in translation.

I have my fingers crossed for a graphic novel adaptation of JR Ward’s ‘Black Dagger Brotherhood’ series - it’d be great to see the boys in all their muscled, leather-clad glory.

Urban Fantasy Graphic Novel adaptations, a list:



Stephenie Meyer

'Twilight' Vol 1.
Illustrated by Young Kim

Avaliable Now
.

Patricia Briggs

Mercy Thompson 'Homecoming'
story by Patricia Briggs and David Lawrence with illustrations by Francis Tsai and Amelia Woo, and cover art by Daniel Dos Santos.

Avaliable Now

'Alpha & Omega' Cry Wolf: Volume 1
story by Patricia Briggs and David Lawrence with illustrations by Jordan Gunderson and cover by Brett Booth

Avaliable Now



Charlaine Harris
'Grave Sight' Harper Connelly #1

Coming Soon

Melissa Marr
'Wicked Lovely: Desert Tales' Vol 1 & 2
Story by Melissa Marr, illustrations by Xian Nu Studio

Avaliable Now


Richelle Mead

'Vampire Academy' a graphic novel
Adapted by Leigh Dragoon, illustrated by Emma Vieceli

Coming August 18th 2011



Cassandra Clare



Laurell K Hamilton

'Anita Blake' series
Authors: Laurell K Hamilton, Stacie Ritchie, Jess Ruffner-Booth, Brett Booth. Art by Ron Lim.

Avaliable Now



Jim Butcher
'The Dresden Files' series
Authors: Jim Butcher, Mark Powers and Ardian Syaf

Avaliable Now


Kelley Armstrong

'Bitten' - Women of the Otherworld #1

FREE
online graphic novella

Thursday, June 3, 2010

'Bullet' Anita Blake #19 by Laurell K. HAMILTON


From the BLURB:


The triumvirate created by master vampire Jean-Claude, necromancer Anita Blake, and werewolf Richard Zeeman has made Jean-Claude one of the most powerful vampires in the U.S. He's consolidating power in himself and those loyal to him, doing in America what Belle Morte did in Europe when she was at her height of power. She almost owned Europe, and there was those who are determined that Jean-Claude won't do the same in America. Jean-Claude's motives may be kinder, but as any lawyer will tell you: motives matter, but you're just as dead.

Assassins are coming to St. Louis to kill them all. Anita knows they're coming, but even being forewarned doesn't mean you can win.

At this point, I like writing reviews of Hamilton’s books more than I enjoy reading the books themselves.

So, is anyone really shocked that I think ‘Bullet’ sucked? Or that it’s currently standing with a paltry 2-star rating on Amazon.com?

‘Bullet’ was supposed to be all about Marmee Noir – the big, bad evil that’s been haunting Anita since book #14 ‘Danse Macabre’. But it takes a whopping 12 chapters before Marmee Noir is even mentioned. The previous 11 chapters are, - can you guess? – that’s right! Sex scenes! Eleven chapters of ho-hum sex. And a school dance recital thrown in for awkward measure. Sure, Marmee Noir makes an appearance and there’s a half-hearted attempt to make her into an interesting plot. But this is Laurell K. Hamilton we’re talking about. Take out the sex scenes and the character’s physical descriptions and what their clothes look like (seriously? Every time a character enters a room? We need to know that Micah has cat-eyes every time he makes an appearance?) and you probably have about 10 pages devoted to actual plot. Ten sloppily written, badly edited pages – with a lot of dialogue devoted to Anita saying; “what do you mean?” and “I don’t understand”, thereby prompting long diatribes in which characters can meticulously explain plot points that Hamilton wasn’t talented enough to communicate otherwise.

The sex is boring. It really is. Ms. Hamilton may think she’s writing blush-worthy erotica, but really it’s just soft porn - the likes of which wouldn’t even make hormonally imbalanced teenage boys sit up and take notice let alone veteran Urban Fantasy readers. Whenever someone criticizes Ms. Hamilton in interviews and questions her abundance of sex scenes, Hamilton goes on the defensive and calls those nay-saying readers ‘prudes’. It’s not that. Readers of the Urban Fantasy genre are okay with sex – hell; they even expect it and revel in reading it. When they criticize the over abundance of sex in Anita Blake, it’s more because there’s a lot of *BAD* sex scenes. Just plain bad writing. Hamilton repeats herself – from book to book, but sometimes paragraphs that are only 1 or 2 pages apart will have replica sentences. You could make a drinking game out of how many times the sentence “I screamed my orgasm into his mouth” appears in one Anita book.

Sloppy writing aside, the sex isn’t imaginative or in any way titillating. Ms. Hamilton may think that adding more people to a bed will increase the ‘wow’ factor, but when all those people are just humping away in missionary it remains mundane.
In ‘Bullet’ Jean-Claude *finally* has sex with someone other than Anita – and yes, it is Asher. But Hamilton doesn’t write their sex scene explicitly. She sugar-coats over it and summarizes without giving any juicy M/M details. Either because Anita is too narcissistic to describe J-C’s orgasm with anyone other than her, or Hamilton simply cannot write outside the heterosexual box?

Laurell K Hamilton either has a very hum-drum sex life herself, or else she doesn’t read Urban Fantasy to get an idea of how far sex in the genre has come. If I was Ms. Hamilton’s editor, I’d prescribe a bottle of Merlot, the Kings of Leon CD ‘Only by the Night’ and Jeaniene Frost’s ‘One Foot in the Grave’. Read it and weep.

Is it ironic or just plain pathetic that Laurell K Hamilton is resting on her laurels? There hasn’t been anything fresh about an Anita Blake book since ‘Narcissus in Chains’. Hamilton has explored (see; flogged the dead horse to a bloody pulp) all the wereanimal and vampire politics of St. Louis. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t more options for Anita and this series. There is so much that Hamilton hasn’t explored. Wouldn’t it be great if Anita went home? If we could get a glimpse of the woman she was before the Marshall job and vampire-hunting changed her. Before she became a nymphomaniac? There are so many unexplored avenues for Anita Blake that Hamilton seems almost stubborn in her refusal to write. Like Anita’s family, for instance. From book #1 we’ve learnt about Anita’s rocky family relationship, especially with her stepmother. But there’s been no mention of Anita’s pious and disappointed grandmother or her adoring stepbrother for books now. What if Anita were to bump into the College sweetheart she was engaged to but who ripped her heart out and left emotional scars that Anita is still healing? So many ‘what if’s’ that could save Anita and this series but are sadly not explored in ‘Bullet’- and because Hamilton is of such low writing calibre, probably never will be explored.

I laughed out loud a few times while reading ‘Bullet’, and not because Hamilton was being intentionally funny. Take this attempt at a simile (? Metaphor? Yeah, I don't know what she was trying to do here), so bad it’s not even good, just cringe-worthy;

“I cleaned up well, but Jean-Claude made me feel like I’d sneaked into the Louvre and stolen a masterpiece off the wall so I could roll around on it naked.”

Yikes.
Quite possibly the only positive thing to say about Ms. Hamilton is that she’s providing hope to any number of would-be authors. Surely any budding novelist who has read a recent Anita book thinks; “Well, if she can get published, so can I!”

There are so many inconsistencies in ‘Bullet’. For one, a character we met in ‘Blood Noir’ and was introduced as a lesbian in that book is now dating Jason. Laurell K Hamilton really should use a lexicon when she writes – though ideally it’s an editor’s role to provide said lexicon. But honestly I have infinite sympathy for Hamilton’s crew of editors – I don’t think she’d be the easiest person to work with, and I think her ego would get in the way of polishing her writing (if her blog posts are any indication). I would be shocked if she had even one editor who has been with her since ‘Guilty Pleasures’ – I just think she would be so awful and impossible to work with that Penguin would draw straws on who had to take on her latest manuscript.

Like I said at the beginning; by this point, I like writing reviews of Hamilton’s books more than I enjoy reading the books themselves. And really, when a reader gets more enjoyment out of mocking an author than reading them, you know something is seriously wrong.

0/5

Saturday, May 15, 2010

To read or not to read? - PROMO - Anita Blake #19 'Bullet'



My name is Anita Blake and I am back in St Louis and trying to live a normal life - as normal as possible for someone who is a legal vampire executioner and a US Marshal. I have my lovers, my friends and their children, school programmes to attend. In the midst of all this ordinary happiness a vampire from my past reaches out. She was supposed to be dead, killed in an explosion, but the Mother of All Darkness is the first vampire, the dark creator, and it's hard to kill a god. She has reached out to me here - in St Louis, home of everyone I love most. She has decided she has to act now or never, to control me, and all the vampires in America.



The Mother of All Darkness believes that the triumvirate created by master vampire Jean-Claude with me and the werewolf Richard Zeeman has enough power for her to regain a body and to emigrate to the New World. But the body she wants to possess is already taken; I'm about to learn a whole new meaning to sharing my body, one that has nothing to do with the bedroom. And if the Mother of All Darkness can't succeed in taking over my body for herself, she means to see that no one else has the use of it, ever again. Even Belle Morte, not always a friend to me, has sent word: 'Run if you can …'

I said back in February that I was done with Laurell K Hamilton’s ‘Anita Blake’ series.

I went into ‘Flirt’, the Anita Blake novella (and unofficial 18th installment in the series) with sub-zero expectations. The same lowly outlook I’ve taken since the series nose-dived with book #10, ‘Narcissus in Chains’.
Hamilton did not fail to not disappoint. She once again delivered a smut-heavy, non-existent-plot, derivative novel. Hamilton’s recent installments have been made even worse by the lack of fan-favorite characters like Jean-Claude, Asher and Richard Zeeman (no matter how douchey he’s become) while random boy-toy secondary-characters have been added to Anita’s harem… turning the series into a convoluted mess of second-rate mysteries and unnecessary erotica (‘so tight, so wet’…so *yawn*).

But amidst the tired sex, chronic descriptions of character physicality’s and deflated mysteries, there was one bright spark. One plot-arc with the potential to pull Anita out of her slump and return this series to within an iota of its former glory. Marmee Noir.

Marmee Noir (the Mother of All Darkness, the first vampire) was introduced way back in book #14, ‘Danse Macabre’ when she started appearing to Anita in dreams…. She was drawn to Anita’s necromancy, the pull she had over Jean-Claude and his cachet of vampires. In Anita, Marmee Noir saw reason to wake from her millennia-slumber.

Truthfully the only reason I read books 15–18 was in the hopes that Marmee Noir’s storyline would be developed. It was, sometimes, but only in drips and drabs and always playing second fiddle to the more contrite ‘whodunnit’ plot arcs (and sex, so much sex). Marmee Noir is in fact only mentioned in ‘Danse Macabre’, ‘The Harlequin’, ‘Blood Noir’ and ‘Skin Trade’.

Honestly, the main reason I like the character and potential plot of Marmee Noir is because it feels like the perfect conclusion to this flailing series. Not only a conclusion…but a BANG to end ‘Anita’ on, rather than the whimpering of recent novels.

Marmee Noir feels epic enough that it could, plausibly, span several books and draw-out the end of Anita Blake.
And really, I can’t see any reason to continue the series once Marmee Noir’s arc is finished. Where do you go once you’ve had the ultimate villain in the first vampire? (for all you Buffy aficionados, think ‘The First’ in the seventh and final season of the show).

So, having read the blurb for book #19 ‘Bullet’, I find myself silently bargaining with Anita Blake/Ms. Hamilton. I will read this book (despite promising myself otherwise). I will give Anita one last chance. I will hope that Laurell K Hamilton appreciates the awesome potential of Marmee Noir and writes to the best of her ability (and that her editors feel brave enough to suggest she goes easy on the erotica).

I will read ‘Bullet’ and that will dictate whether or not Anita and I continue our reading relationship.
But this is it. The last stand. Guns draw at dawn. The point of no return.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Urban Fantasy MOVIE adaptations


With the release of the new Twilight trailer for 'Eclipse' I got to thinking about how much the Urban Fantasy genre has blown up. There are so many great movie/TV/graphic novel adaptations going on - the genre is really branching out into different forms of New Media. So I thought I'd do a little post updating you on what's coming, what's cancelled and possible future endeavors.... Enjoy!

Melissa Marr:
It was announced last year that the first book in Melissa Marr’s ‘Wicked Lovely’ series would be coming to the big screen.

Many in Hollywood believe Marr’s project was chosen to compete against the adaptation of Aprilynne Pike’s book ‘Wings’, which has confirmed Miley Cyrus for the lead. Both books are aimed at the YA audience. Both are about fairies, which is tipped to be the ‘next big thing’ after vampires for 2011.
‘Wings’ will be made by Disney, and is being produced by the same team who made ‘Twilight’ (Marty Bowen and Wyck Godfrey). ‘Wicked Lovely’ has no cast as yet, but is being adapted by Universal Pictures. Both have a tentative 2011 release date – and I wouldn’t be surprised if they went head-to-head to battle it out at the box office.

Patricia Briggs:
In 2008 the ‘Mercy Thompson’ books were optioned to 50 Canon Entertainment. 50 Canon created TV show ‘Huff’, but they’ve also done movies such as ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’. It’s unclear whether the ‘Mercy’ series was optioned with the intent of turning them into movies or a TV show.

Since 2008 nothing has come of the contract. It might just have been a case of 50 Canon hedging their bets. At the time ‘True Blood’ (adaptation of Charlaine Harris’s ‘Sookie Stackhouse’ series) hadn’t hit our TV screens, so maybe they bought the ‘Mercy’ rights and then waited to see how ‘True Blood’ fared.
Since the HBO success, 50 Canon may have decided not to compete against such a high-rating show, or they could be waiting to see how audiences respond to the werewolf storyline of season 3….

Also at the time of the contract, Briggs’s comic book adaptation of her series hadn’t hit shelves. ‘Homecoming’, the first ‘Mercy’ comic by Dabel Brothers, came out last year to an underwhelming fan response. This could have impacted 50 Canon’s decision to adapt, but it’s highly doubtful.

The contract between Briggs and 50 Canon was rumoured to be in the six figures (if, or when, they decide to adapt). So regardless of whether or not the adaptation gets a green light this was a huge coup for Briggs professionally.

I, personally, think that the ‘Mercy Thompson’ books would make a great TV show… but at the same time I feel very precious about the series and would want it to be done *just* right.

Laurell K. Hamilton:
Last year Hamilton announced on her blog (with much ego-stroking) that her ‘Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter’ series was being bought to the small screen by IFC (independent film channel).

I was actually really excited for ‘Guilty Pleasures’ (the first book in the Anita Blake series) to be adapted. Hamilton’s first books in the series were great (it all went downhill around about ‘Narcissus in Chains’) and I think they would have made for a really entertaining mini-movie.

Unfortunately the deal with IFC fell through, rather disastrously.

Ms. Hamilton told fans about the no-go ‘Anita’ movie back in November 2009. She posted this rather quizzical statement on her blog: “It has been frustrating watching other shows in the genre I pioneered go on the air while we didn’t, but in the end I believe most things happen for a reason. I would rather have no television show than a bad one.”

Fans have been left to speculate about this cryptic blog post. It’s pretty obvious that there was some sort of creative difference going on between Hamilton and IFC.
And her reference to ‘other shows’ being made from adaptations – she can only mean Charlaine Harris’s ‘True Blood’. Maybe it stuck in Ms. Hamilton’s craw that Ms. Harris got HBO while she was stuck with IFC? Who knows? All we know for sure is that an adaptation of vintage Anita Blake is probably never going to happen now. If Hamilton was ‘difficult’ to work with, chances are other movie production companies will follow in IFC’s footsteps and not touch her.
Hollywood’s a big damn pond, and authors are small fish – especially when the Urban Fantasy genre has blown-up and there are plenty of possibilities for adaptation.

Charlaine Harris:
Ms. Harris has said in numerous interviews that she was quite surprised that, of all her books, it was ‘Sookie Stackhouse’ that was made into a TV show. She always thought that ‘Harper Connelly’ was more screen-friendly, and a more likely choice for adaptation.

Well since 2008 ‘True Blood’ has been going from strength to strength, and has regained HBO’s status as the premier network (not since ‘The Sopranos’ have ratings been so high). So it’s no wonder that people are sniffing around Harris’s other work.

It was recently announced that Harris’s ‘Harper Connelly’ series was being adapted into a graphic novel. ‘Dynamite Entertainment’ bought the rights to the 4-book series – which is about a young woman who can ‘sense’ the dead and see the last moments of a deceased’s life.

There’s no release date as yet, but it’s likely the graphic novel will come out late 2010, or early 2011.

This might just be the first step before turning the ‘Harper Connelly’ books into a movie or TV show. No doubt the media will be abuzz over this adaptation, purely because of Charlaine Harris’s recent fame with ‘True Blood’ and the ‘Sookie’ books being a staple of the New York Times Bestseller’s list. If the comic book gets enough hype, I wouldn’t be surprised if a production network snaps up the movie/TV rights.

I, for one, would love to see a big/small screen adaptation of this series. All of Charlaine Harris’s series’ are great, and deserve as much attention as ‘Sookie Stackhouse’ – but I have a particularly soft spot for the brilliant ‘Harper Connelly’.

Kelley Armstrong:
Back in 2004 Armstrong’s ‘Bitten’ was sold to Warner. Bros and several screenplay drafts were written. Angelina Jolie was even rumoured to star.

Since then the contract has run out and Warner. Bros decided not to renew. That means another production company could try and buy the movie rights, but Ms. Armstrong has advised fans not to hold their breath.

Bummer.

Maggie Stiefvater:
September last year Ms. Stiefvater broke the happy news on her livejournal.

Her ‘Wolves of Mercy Falls’ trilogy has been picked up for movie adaptation. It’s being made by ‘Unique Features’.

No news yet about casting or release dates – but I think the movie will be a sure thing. Werewolves are so hot right now; the YA/tween audience cannot get enough of Taylor Lautner.
‘Shiver’ will be like a “what if Jacob got Bella in the end?” to satisfy all those who weren’t in the ‘Team Edward’ camp.

Shiver’ is a gorgeous book and absolutely deserving of this happy news!

Kim Harrison:
In July 2009 Kim Harrison announced that her series 'The Hollows' was going to be adapted into a Graphic Novel by Del Ray. Ms. Harrison is actually writing the script herself, so expect plenty of that snappy dialogue and dry wit that we've come to love.

The novel will be told from Ivy's POV (*squee!*) and is set around the time of her 'Hollows' novella in 'Dates From Hell'. And Kisten is still alive (*SQUEE!*).

The 8th 'Rachel Morgan' book was released this month (to much success, of course) and the Graphic Novel is tentatively scheduled for a fall 2010 release (could possibly turn into a 2011 release though). The artist is Pedro Maia and Ms. Harrison has posted some (very rough) sketches on her blog.

The graphic novel looks and sounds great so far. I especially like the idea of it being told from Ivy's POV - hopefully we'll learn a lot more about the 'behind the scenes' of the vampires and their politics. And I think it will be great to get into Ivy's psyche and maybe discover when her feelings for Rachel changed.

I think the 'Rachel Morgan' series is one of the best Urban Fantasies out there. Hands down. Brilliant. But I think a movie/TV adaptation would be very hard, if not impossible to accomplish. The world is so intricate and there's so much back story... I don't know that such a screen adaptation would be possible. But a graphic novel is just the right kind of new media for Ms. Harrison. It allows her to work closely on script and visualize her 'Hollows' world without constraint. Fantastic!

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