'The Rosie Effect' Don Tillman #2 by Graeme Simsion

From the BLURB:

The Rosie Project was an international publishing phenomenon, with more than a million copies sold in over forty countries around the world. Now Graeme Simsion returns with the highly anticipated sequel, The Rosie Effect.

Don Tillman and Rosie Jarman are now married and living in New York. Don has been teaching while Rosie completes her second year at Columbia Medical School. Just as Don is about to announce that Gene, his philandering best friend from Australia, is coming to stay, Rosie drops a bombshell: she’s pregnant.

In true Tillman style, Don instantly becomes an expert on all things obstetric. But in between immersing himself in a new research study on parenting and implementing the Standardised Meal System (pregnancy version), Don’s old weaknesses resurface. And while he strives to get the technicalities right, he gets the emotions all wrong, and risks losing Rosie when she needs him most.

The Rosie Effect is the charming and hilarious romantic comedy of the year.

'The Rosie Effect' is the sequel to Graeme Simsion’s 2013 internationally best-selling novel 'The Rosie Project', which I enjoyed immensely (as did Bill Gates). 
I had been very excited to read its sequel and revisit Don and Rosie – and I said as much in my 'Rosie Project' review. 

But now I have read the sequel, and I did not care for it. 

Allow me to try and relay the things I did not enjoy about this book, and assign them some sort of quantifiable value. I shall list what I did not like, and use a percentage marker to indicate how much their inclusion annoyed me and affected my enjoyment of 'The Rosie Effect'. 

• The Baby Project – 5% 

'The Rosie Project' was about geneticist Don Tillman concocting a scientific survey to find the perfect wife. He found an imperfectly-perfect wife in Rosie Jarman, who failed at his Wife Project but succeeded in the hands-on role. 'The Rosie Effect' begins when Don and Rosie are happily married and living in New York – Don is a professor at Columbia and Rosie is completing her PhD. It is not a good time for them to “get pregnant”, but that’s exactly what happens … which triggers The Baby Project – which sees Don attempt to prepare for impending fatherhood by conducting extensive research into everything from suitable diet for Rosie to child-rearing techniques. Don is particularly keen to conduct such research because of an altercation with a friend-of-a-friend, who states that Don would make an unsuitable parent. 
It follows that after The Wife Project comes The Baby Project (as indicated by famous rhyme: first comes loves, then comes marriage etc, etc, etc…) but this storyline quickly falters, and the book started to feel like the nine-month gestation period itself. Or, as Alfred Hickling for The Guardian noted: “it fulfils a formula familiar to many sequels of bestelling novels in that it is twice as long and only half as good.” 

• Gregory Peck – 25%

Simsion repeats many jokes in this book. The Gregory Peck ha-ha was particularly annoying for it’s repetitiveness.
Rosie thinks that Don bears a resemblance to the famous actor Gregory Peck (circa: 'To Kill a Mockingbird'). This was a lovely visual in 'The Rosie Project'. In 'The Rosie Effect' we learn that Don has taken his resemblance and amplified it by repeating famous lines from Gregory Peck films ('Roman Holiday' in particular) which often results in Rosie feeling amorous towards Don. This is nice, and when Don first mentions his subtle ‘strategy’ it’s funny, and I cracked a smile … but Simsion repeats a variation of this joke about 20 times throughout the book.
It is a sad day when mention of Gregory Peck in a novel becomes frustrating. 
A sad day indeed. 

• Marital Violence joke – 35%

It’s not just the Gregory Peck joke that Simsion repeats.
There are two elaborate comedy-of-errors situations that take quite a bit of build-up, but the premise is people thinking that Don means to do some sort of harm to Rosie and/or the baby. He doesn’t. The misunderstanding comes from Don being somewhere on the autism spectrum (what was once called Asperger syndrome) and being entirely too honest and direct with people, particularly those in positions of authority. This sees him participating in a domestic violence counselling session, and giving the wrong impression to a flight marshal about intending to hurt Rosie. 
This “funny” clunked on the page … twice.

• 'The Rosie Project' similarities – 10%

A lot of The Rosie Effect is set-up to be a mirrored sequel to 'The Rosie Project'. The Wife/Baby Project plot is just one of them. Simsion reuses another in the friendly neighbour who Don becomes emotionally (unbeknownst to him) attached to. In 'Rosie Project' Don’s kind, elderly neighbour Daphne was the person who encouraged him to become a husband … hence, The Wife Project. Simsion conveniently contrives a similar scenario for Don in 'The Rosie Effect', except this time the neighbour is an old rocker called George who has his own family dilemmas and both gives Don advice, and benefits from Don’s “boy’s night out” initiative. George also provides Don and Rosie an unrealistic housing opportunity in New York. 
I didn’t love the skewed-slightly plot, especially since George didn’t hold a candle to Daphne who was a crucial part of Don’s character arc. 

• Gene – 5%

Gene’s wife, Claudia, finally leaves the serial-philanderer and Don convinces Gene to come and take a position at Columbia and stay with him and Rosie. 
This book is in no way improved by more Gene. 
… I don’t think anything is ever improved by more Gene. 

• The Women – 20%

This is a very male-centric story. Don spends a lot of “boys nights out” with his friends George, Gene and new acquaintance Dave working through various husband and fatherhood difficulties. By comparison, Rosie actually feels like a depleted character in this book – it didn’t feel like she was physically present for a lot of it (and probably wasn’t, as she’s frequently working on her thesis) – but emotionally it felt like Simsion left her to lag behind. Maybe this is because he writes her as a silly pregnant woman – irrational, baby-brained and forever frustrated – rather than an actual human being who we’ve come to know and love through Don’s search for her in 'The Rosie Project'. As Helen Elliott said in her Sydney Morning Herald review: "If ever there was a formulaic pregnancy, this is it. It might make men laugh. Women will be unamused and even cross."
Other women in the book are equally hollow – there’s the second emotionally overwrought pregnant woman (Sonia), evil professional lady (Lydia), Skype-chat ex (Claudia) or simply background extras B1, B2 and B3 (I’m not kidding). 

100% disappointed. 

I didn’t like 'The Rosie Effect'. I first became worried when I got to Chapter Eight and realised I hadn’t chuckled once – compared to my belly-laughing by that point in 'The Rosie Project'. 
Sure, a few scenes elicited smiles:

Loud Woman laughed. Loudly. ‘He’s Rain Man! You know. Dustin Hoffman when he remembers all the cards. Dan’s the cocktail Rain Man.’ 

Rain Man! I had seen the film. I did not identify in any way with Rain Man, who was inarticulate, dependent and unemployable. A society of Rain Men would be dysfunctional. A society of Don Tillmans would be efficient, safe and pleasant for all of us. 

But they were far and few between.

To be honest, I rushed through reading the end because I just wanted to be done with it. I still think Don is a great character, and I will pick up the third book when it comes out … but I might have to rein in my expectations, and I suggest you do the same if you’re going into 'The Rosie Effect'. 

1.5-2/5 

 

'The Rosie Project' by Graeme Simsion

From the BLURB:

Don Tillman is getting married. He just doesn’t know who to yet.

But he has designed the Wife Project, using a sixteen-page questionnaire to help him find the perfect partner. She will most definitely not be a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker, or a late-arriver.

Rosie Jarman is all these things. She is also fiery and intelligent and beautiful. And on a quest of her own to find her biological father—a search that Don, a professor of genetics, might just be able to help her with.

The Wife Project teaches Don some unexpected things. Why earlobe length is an inadequate predictor of sexual attraction. Why quick-dry clothes aren’t appropriate attire in New York. Why he’s never been on a second date. And why, despite your best scientific efforts, you don’t find love: love finds you.

‘The Rosie Project’ by Graeme Simsion is so wonderful; I’m going to attempt to enumerate my enjoyment of the novel; 

1. Don Tillman is an Associate Professor of genetics at the University of Melbourne. He has a black-belt in Akikido, and can cook a mean lobster salad. He also has Asperger syndrome – but he doesn’t know that. Don just thinks that there’s something missing that leaves him baffled by human behaviour and unappealing to other people (especially the opposite sex). But after his dear old neighbour tells him that he would make someone a good husband, Don decides to get married – and to limit the fallout of incompatibility and highly ineffective dating detection, Don decides to make a questionnaire to find himself the perfect wife. Thus, ‘The Wife Project’. This is not insane. It has actually happened, to Amy Webb from Baltimore who found her husband by using math and analytics to narrow the dating field. 

2. Rosie Jarman is not a potential partner for Don’s Wife Project. She’s a barmaid who is perpetually late and vegetarian. But she is also beautiful and smart. And she’s on her own quest to find someone – her biological father. Rosie has bright red hair, dresses to impress no one but herself and calls em’ like she sees em’. But she is not a ‘Manic Pixie Dream Girl’. She does not want to ‘fix’ Don, she’s tough and imperfect and very aware of her failings. She is one of the best romantic-comedy heroines I've ever read. 

3. This scene of Don speed-dating (which I read while on the train, and attracted many curious looks as I snorted my way through it);

‘I've sequenced the questions for maximum speed of elimination,’ I explained. ‘I believe I can eliminate most women in less than forty seconds. Then you can choose the topic of discussion for the remaining time.’ 

‘But then it won’t matter,’ said Frances. ‘I’ll have been eliminated.’ 

‘Only as a potential partner. We may still be able to have an interesting discussion.’ 

‘But I’ll have been eliminated.’ 

I nodded. ‘Do you smoke?’ 

‘Occasionally,’ she said. 

I put the questionnaire away. ‘Excellent.’ I was pleased that my question sequencing was working so well. We could have wasted time talking about ice-cream flavours and make-up only to find that she smoked. Needless to say, smoking was not negotiable. ‘No more questions. What would you like to discuss?’ 

4. Don Tillman is described as being a dead-ringer for Gregory Peck, circa Atticus Finch. *le sigh* 

5. ‘The Rosie Project’ started as a screenplay. Graeme Simsion then decided to turn it into a novel – but still used film-writing techniques and his writing partners were film-industry experts. This is why ‘The Rosie Project’ is destined for the big-screen. The dialogue is so tight and pitch-perfect, the lines just leap up at you and it’s as though characters are speaking from the page. I want to see this film adapted – move over Harry & Sally, it’s all about Don & Rosie!

6. At one point, Don and Rosie travel to New York where, Don says, “being weird is acceptable.” I am going to New York this year. I’m planning an entire day at the Natural History Museum, thanks to Don. I can’t wait! 

7. The cover is in-your-face-magnificence. It called to me from the bookshelf, and loudly announced itself to fellow commuters as I read it on the train. I liked this. Very much. 

8. Throughout the novel Don starts to question if it’s him that’s missing some vital human-connection component, or if maybe other people are the problem . . . this is encapsulated in the relationship Don has with his best friend and fellow teacher, Gene. Gene is fifty-six and happily married to a beautiful woman with whom he has two children. But Gene’s wife, Claudia, has agreed to an open-marriage and Gene is currently attempting to sleep with a woman from every country. Gene dispenses romantic advice to Don. This is not a good idea, and was a fantastic counter-point to Rosie and Don’s romantic shenanigans.

9. I would actually love a follow-up to ‘The Rosie Project’ because when I got to the last page I immediately missed Don Tillman and wanted him back! But whatever Graeme Simsion decides to write next, I’ll be reading because he’s now an automatic-buy author for me.

10. I could keep going and going and going because I adored ‘The Rosie Project’ (and give it a firm 5/5), but let’s agree that ‘10’ is a good place to stop espousing on all the reasons everyone should read this book (and watch ABC's 'The Book Club' on April 2, because it will be featured!)